Toastandcupcakes.


A birthday letter.
March 9, 2007, 10:29 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

Aesopweekone Aesopweekone1
Dear sweet Aesop,

Two years ago today I was arched over a stack of pillows, in the bedroom of our little house, in the throes of labour. In just 7 more hours I’d have you in my arms.
After giving you a bit of a wiggle, and telling you we were ready for you the night before, you had decided it was in fact time to show your little face. After months of kicks in the ribs and regular intervals of hiccups, we were finally going to meet you. I was so excited and I actually felt ready.

I didn’t have the easiest pregnancy with you. We ‘tried’ for months before you decided you were ready for us. We didn’t tell anyone we were trying, so when you finally began to grow there were alot of confused tears and worries in the family and a lot of people thought we weren’t ready to become parents. At points we started to believe them, and combined with money troubles, a completely unsuitable living arrangement and a sudden diagnosis of epilepsy a bit of doubt set in.
But we overcame that. We found a beautiful cosy little house, your dad found a lovely job which paid the bills, the family came around to the idea and we started collecting bits and pieces and looking forward to your arrival.

Your birth was beautiful, painful but beautiful. We’d spend months preparing for you to squeeze your way out. We’d done classes and we’d massaged everything there was to massage (?!), and it really paid off. We had the most amazing midwife in the whole world (We love you Lyndell. Thank you.), we had each other, we had both the mums for support and we did it.
After sixteen and a half hours of labour, you landed in your Dad’s waiting hands. He cut the cord and you were all ours.
Meeting you was incredible. It was so surreal, I couldn’t believe it was finally over, or should I say, it was finally beginning.

Aesoponeyear Aesoponeyear1

Your first year was amazing. Every single day you dazzled us with how clever and how beautiful you are, and made us try harder than ever before. We laughed harder than we’ve ever laughed and our tears could have filled rivers. It was both hard and incredible. My thoughts on parenting changed alot, and I learnt lessons that no amount of reading could have taught. I realised that things I thought would come naturally didn’t, and things I thought I could never learn I had in me all along. We overcame so much to get through that first year, and I remember a year ago at your first birthday marveling over how somehow we had managed to keep you alive, and somehow we had managed to stay together. We were so proud of ourselves.

I guess failure is something you will learn in life too, sweet Aesop. I guess its inevitable that one day you’ll not be able to live out something you’ve dreamed about. I wish I could save you from ever having to live that, but I can’t.

This year things have been a little different. Times have been hard, arguments have been had and separations have been made. You’ve seen far too many tears, and far too much anger. You’ve moved islands, and houses. You’ve learned that you now have two homes, and that mum and dad somehow aren’t quite how they used to be, and even now when things are improving between us, and you get to see so much more of your Dad, you’re learning to be one of those children with a life split between two worlds… something I so dearly never, ever wanted you to learn or feel.

So this birthday Aesop, I want you to know I’m sorry. I want you to know I’m trying my very hardest, and your Dad is too. I’m sorry we haven’t been able to keep it all together for you, and I’m sorry for the tears and loud voices. I’m sorry I haven’t turned out to be the ‘natural mother’ I hoped I would be, and that my patience is thin at the best of times. But I also want you to know that I love you. I love you more than anything I’ve ever loved before. I think you’re so incredibly clever, and so beautiful it blows me away. Everytime you laugh my heart melts, and even when you’re being your cheeky-ratbag self, and driving me straight up the wall- I love you. Nothing will ever change that.
So Happy birthday my sweet one. This year will be easier. I promise.

Aesopstickers Aesoptoga

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15 Comments so far
Leave a comment

happy birthday, Aesop and Rhiannon! Wish we could come to the party and have some of the banana-shaped cake. Thank you for sharing the letter with us R, it’s beautiful. And so is your wee boy!

Comment by melissa

Happy birthday Aesop!
Aren’t you lucky to have such a special Mum!
Here’s to many more wonderful birthdays for you!

Comment by Rachelle

Happy birthday – wee Aesop – wishing you all the best.

x Helen – Magnus – Willoughby xxx

Comment by Helen

Happy Birthday Aesop…… you are a lucky boy!

Comment by Plumtickled

Happy happy birthday Aesop!

Comment by Fiona

What a beautiful letter, Rhiannon. Full of love and the realities of life and parenting. Happy Birthday, Aesop!

Comment by betsy

That is so sweet! And he is so cute in that towel picture 🙂 Happy birthday Aesop! Good for you (and Aesop of course!) things between you and Abraham are starting to get a little better.

Comment by Nynke

happy birthday, aesop!
rhiannon, such a beautiful letter to your sweet little one. he will treasure this. you are so, so good.
xo
amisha

Comment by amisha

beautiful pictures of your boy and a beautiful letter to him.

happy birthday little guy!
-kimberlee

Comment by kimberle and Lies

Okay, way to make a pregnant lady cry! Happy Birthday, Aesop.

Comment by Amelia

Way to make a not-pregnant lady cry! Touching letter Rhiannon, best birthday wishes Aesop. Love to you both.

Comment by Kirsty

Way to make anybody cry…
Happy B-day, Aesop, and many happy B-days to come. With all that love around you, I’m sure you’ll grow up to be a good and happy guy.

Comment by M%n

I think all of us as parents have things we are sorry for but many never acknowledge it. It’s a gift to our children to own our flaws and mishaps and most importantly to say sorry for the things that don’t belong to our children but to us. I’m for ever apologizing for my chaotic and disorderly self and hopefully that’s what they’ll remember the most (the sorry not the ‘bad’ times).

Your wee one is so beautiful Rhiannon and you are a wise woman and mother.

xx Rachael xx
and belated birthday wishes to Aesop.

Comment by rachael

My goodness, that was beautiful. I hope one day Aesop will understand what a kick-ass mother he has.

Comment by Kimberley

this is the NICEST and very personal piece of writing. it made me cry just to read it! *sniff* Aesop is very fortunate to have a great Mum like you. Keep up the great work & I am so glad that I found this page!

Comment by mw




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