October 3, 2007, 8:56 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized


I love my son. I really, truly do. So, so much.
Sometimes I just need to remind myself of that. Say it out loud. Because I always know it deep down, but sometimes after a long day of yelling and constant nagging (which begins as his and ends as mine..) it’s easy to over look that and just want out.
I’m struggling again. For a few weeks I had it all under control. I was eating healthily, getting a little bit of sewing done, keeping the house under control and getting along well with Aesop. But some how it’s all gone out the window.
I really just do not understand how people find that balance. With me if I eat healthily then the house work suffers. If I sew then I pay less attention to Aesop. If I use the internet then I don’t do any washing etc. Something always has to give. At the moment everything has given and I’m succeeding in nothing bit the internet sector of life.

But this too shall pass. Luckily for me I’m still taking it easy on myself and trying to focus on what DOES get done and not what doesn’t. I’m trying to come to peace with my giant ass and not ridicule myself for the fact I don’t fit into any of my clothes. I’m trying to accept that I’m not a very tidy person, and messy person + toddler = house-looks-like-its-been-hit-by-a-tornado. Hakuna matata, huh?
hhahah oh dear. You can tell I’ve been watching The Lion King.

On a different note, I’m working on a few custom orders at the moment. Which is a little strange for me because I usually avoid them like wildfire. ‘Why?’ I hear you asking.. because they scare me.
I’m terrified that I’ll make something that someone will hate, and they’ll feel obliged to still buy it from me. Or that I’ll make something completely different than what they expected and they’ll be really disappointed (Especially if I’m using their material!). I get nervous enough about people buying things from me anyway, but custom stuff has always really given me the heebies.
(Sorry, I might have talked about this before but I can’t remember. Can I still claim nappy brain?)

Sept07kellyhoodie1 Sept07kellyhoodie Sept07kellyhoodieapplique

So far I’ve been lucky, Just recently I made this hoodie as my half of the swap with Kelly , with some fabric she’d bought. I posted the parcel off, and sat biting my fingernails waiting for it to get to her, but it arrived safely, seemed to fit well, and she said she loved it.
*Fingers crossed* that the other things I’m working on at the moment are as welcomely received.


8 Comments so far
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gosh i’m tired.

brilliant update. just splendid!

i think starting your update off with “i love my son” was a good look.

that hoody turned out sooooo good. wow. i really like that fabric.

annnnnnd i just want to say that a) i don’t think anyone in the whole world has mastered the balance of day-to-day life. i imagine everyone neglects one part of their life because of another getting more attention. i hope so, because i’m the same.
annnnd b) i really think you do amazingly. and you have done amazingly before too. so i think the only way is up, and from where you are at the moment, it’s not that far. you’re already “up” in my book.

and i love your ass. always have, always will.

i love you rhubarb. more than anything you could think of (except aesop – heh heh). i do. i really, really do.


Comment by abraham

Who the hell is organised when they have a toddler? You need to get these strange notions out of your gorgeous little head. I most certainly am not. At the moment my flatmates hate me and Tobin is doing all the cooking and cleaning while I live at school. If I had Hannah as well then he’d be doing all that. I can’t find balance. No way. Much too hard.

I say if you can make it through the day, then you are doing well 🙂

And your ass is beeeeauuuutiful. I’ve seen it. I qualify as authoritative on the matter.

And lovely lovely hoodie. How could anyone not love your work? C’est impossible!


Comment by Nikki

hello? you have a TODDLER. i think it’s part of the rules that you be going absolutely bonkers now. you have a mile-a-minute boy to look after and you’re keeping up with your (awesome) shop – just remember to look after yourself too! i think you’re doing a fantastic job so far (said from halfway ’round the world).

and egads, that hoodie is darling. i keep telling myself i’m going to get one for myself someday… maybe for giftmas, i hope!

Comment by miss lila

whining can be awful hard to take
but you can ignore it

only respond to him when he doesnt whine

i went though a bit of weight issues but decided God had made me the way He had and so I let it go

do you spend $$ on junk food try to use that $$ for fruit instead its better for you

does Aesop have a nap during the day and what time does he go to bed at night maybe you could use those times for sewing or blogging

try to have a tidy up each night before you go to bed
that way its tidy in the morning
use boxes and/or cupboards for Aesops toys
try to do one house working thing a day

I wish I could come and help you
my sister came once and helped whip my house into shape
bless her

maybe a declutter thing would help
just take a room a week and declutter or clean it

my thoughts and prayers are with you
before you know it
He will be at school
time flies especially when u have a toddler

Comment by jen

i have gotten heaps of coveting looks and compliments about the hoody, it turned out so amazingly well! you were such a sweetheart to do swap with, so thank you. and don’t forget that you are young (happy 23rd birthday by the way!) and so very talented, so things will fall into place for you. i am amazed and inspired by all that you manage to do, and I think many other people are too!

Comment by kelly

Thanks so much for that post, it made me feel so human, I know EXACTLY how you feel – I struggle with the same things, my little girl drives me nuts, I love her to bits, but some days, she just wakes up yelling – anway – thanks…

Comment by Claire Falkingham

I came here feeling the exact same way today about my daughter- this is day 3 of my partner being away (again!) for 2 weeks in the USA!
So I’m here moaning along with you! Once she’s asleep I’ll feel differently, lol.. but I can still hear her singing and hollering at her teddies right now!
I LOVE your hoodies too, if I had spare cash I’d buy one off you 🙂 I make littlies hoodies, not very good at making my size.
Not sure how old your son is, but I know he’s a bit younger than my girl.. something to look forward to – despite today being a loooooong day (and mummy being a bit grumpy due to lack of sleep) when I was putting her to bed she said “you’re my bestest friend in the whole entire world mummy” awwww.. it’s times like these you realise how much they really do love you 🙂

Comment by Kat

Hi sweetie…I can totally relate to this blog! I don’t have any children but I do know how hard it is to juggle stuff. I’m finding that a lot of things in my life need addressing at the moment but if I focus on all things at once, none of them get quality time and nothing seems to get done. If I focus on one thing, or two…all the other stuff suffers and it’s soooo noticeable. I get very depressed, very easily and Ihave to be vigilant to avoid things that trigger me…disorganisation and clutter is one of them…but because I am so busy, the cleaning always gets done last. Sometimes I end up doing nothing because it’s all toooo overwealming…then I beat myself up for being unproductive. This all or nothing thinking is the bane of my existence and a daily chore to try and change my thinking on it.

You are doing a fab job. Your son looks healthy and full of life…and you look great too. I can see how good your hoodies are looking each and every one you do gets better and better! Plus you’ve got good taste and great sense of humour. You are a survivor and I admire that.

hugs x

Comment by Gina Lee

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